And once you have Andrew Bolt targeting you, the Public of Australia - Norm from Shailer Park.
Beryl from Claphjam– begin to bay for your blood.
It's fascinating when complete strangers start happily spewing invective in your direction: you write terribly, being gay is a choice, we will hunt you down and kill you, being Asian is a choice.
People have happily slagged me off on Twitter, calling me a "shameless attention seeker', an "arsehole" and a "douche bag And while most of those things are probably true, shouldn't we be keeping these judgments to ourselves? To be honest, I was never really bullied or picked on as a child.
Considering I louis vuitton replica handbags a scrawny, homosexual Asian kid with orthodontics and scoliosis, who played the clarinet and enjoyed skipping rope during recess, it's surprising I wasn't targeted more.
(Actually, it's surprising I'm not dead.
) But these days practically everyone is fair game for internet hate.
You don't have to be a mouthy, swear-happy writer to cop it.
All you need is a face book page and one angry troll for the bullying to begin.
Stuff like this can leave us in tears.
But as my friend Jess once wrote, "A sage and omnipotent being, known as 'the internet'.
Once said something incredibly wise under a picture of a cat dressed like a gangster Louis Vuitton Galliera gm a pimp mobile.
Haters Gonne hate.
And the truth is, there's nothing you can do about it.
" And you know what? Jess is right.
The only thing we've got under control is how we choose to respond.
Various songwriters and local neighborhood drag queens will tell you the first rule: never let them see you cry.
And from there, think of how you'd like to respond by harnessing your spirit animal: a lion, a hawk, Germaine Greer.
Personally, I like to harness Vazquez, the butch female military operative from the 1986 James Cameron film Aliens who, when confronted with the teasing chauvinist question, "Have you ever been mistaken for a louis vuitton Rolling Luggage " replied without missing a beat, "No.
Have you? " Nowadays, my standard response to strangers' abuse is either to ignore it, or to baffle them with thanks.
Recently, someone told me exactly what they thought of me (it wasn't pleasant) and I responded with, "Thank you very much, that's so lovely of you to say.
" Weirdly flattered by my kindness, that person started being nice to me.
Sometimes, it turns out, internet trolls just need love - the poor, deformed, sun-deprived creatures that they are.
Others will remain horrible.
And if you can't come up with an excellent comeback, you can always confuse them.
Then run the fuck away.
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